Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize