remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
wow bdsm is so cute
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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