i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
