It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
