Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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