Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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