Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
