Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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