That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
