And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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