It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
