remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
