But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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