I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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