He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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