hotel room ftw
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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