there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize