capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
