Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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