I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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