Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
