I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
