I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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