Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
