Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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