Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
