My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
