This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
