don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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