Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
