hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
