i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
