I skipped work to stalk him.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
