I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
organizing the empties. That sober.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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