i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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