I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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