Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
