it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
