dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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