noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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