i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
