I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
You left your phone here
Wait...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
