literally had 100 drinks last night.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
