tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
