Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
