just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
