I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
