that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
