I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
My ass is underappreciated
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
