I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
