I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
