Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
