You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
