i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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